Connecting with Your Inner Child: A Somatic Approach to Emotional Healing
Somewhere inside each of us lives a younger self — a child who still holds our earliest fears, joys, needs, and longings. This “inner child” is not a metaphor or fantasy. From the perspective of parts work, it’s a real part of the psyche that continues to shape how we feel, think, and relate to the world—especially when we’re under stress.
Many of us have lost contact with this younger part. We may feel too busy, numb, guarded, or critical to notice them. But reconnecting with your inner child is one of the most powerful and compassionate ways to soften emotional reactivity, rewire old relational patterns, and develop lasting self-trust.
To truly connect with this part, we must do more than just think about our childhood. We must feel for it in the body—because that’s where our deepest vulnerabilities and emotions live. Through consistent somatic check-ins and inner listening, you can begin to build a safe, healing relationship with the part of you that still longs to be seen, held, and loved.
Who Is the Inner Child?
The inner child refers to the parts of us that formed in early life—often between birth and adolescence. These parts hold our earliest emotional experiences, including both joyful memories and unmet developmental needs. Generally there are many parts that meet this description - all holding different hopes, fears, wounds, and beliefs.
An inner child might carry:
Wonder, imagination, creativity
Fear of abandonment or rejection
Memories of being scolded, shamed, or ignored
A need for comfort, safety, or approval
Playfulness and a desire for connection
Even if you don’t consciously remember your early years, your nervous system does. Patterns of self-protection, emotional suppression, and people-pleasing often originate in moments when your inner child felt overwhelmed, unsafe, or unloved—and no one was there to help.
Why Reconnecting Matters
When we ignore or disown our inner child parts, those unmet needs don’t go away—they get pushed underground and expressed through adult behaviors. That might look like:
Becoming perfectionistic or overly self-critical
Reacting with outsized emotion to rejection or conflict
Struggling with intimacy or self-expression
Feeling unworthy, anxious, or chronically ashamed
By reconnecting with your inner child, you shift from unconsciously reenacting old wounds to consciously witnessing and healing them. You become the nurturing adult that part of you always needed. This creates space for self-compassion, emotional regulation, and deeper authenticity in your relationships.
Somatic Connection: Why the Body Matters
Emotions don’t just exist in our minds - they are actually more present in our bodies. Younger parts of us live here as well - stored in our somatic memory. Trying to engage these younger parts through our thoughts alone is often much less powerful than if we can find them in our bodies.
To connect with your inner child, it’s not enough to analyze your childhood intellectually. You must feel into it—to locate where that part lives in your body and invite gentle contact.
How to Connect with Your Inner Child: A Practice
This is a gentle guided approach to help you begin meeting your inner child with compassion and curiosity. You can do this as a daily check-in or whenever you feel overwhelmed, disconnected, or reactive.
Step 1: Find a Safe, Quiet Space
Sit or lie down in a comfortable place. Close your eyes if you’d like. Take a few deep, slow breaths. Let your shoulders soften. Feel the support of the ground beneath you.
Step 2: Scan the Body for Sensations
Bring your attention inward. Ask:
What sensation most wants my attention? What sensation stands out?
You might notice:
Tightness in the chest
A lump in the throat
Butterflies in the stomach
A sense of heaviness or restlessness
Don’t try to force anything. Just notice.
Step 3: Invite Contact with the Inner Child
Once you find a place that feels “young” or tender, place a hand there. Say inwardly:
“I see you. I feel you. I’m here.”
Nonverbally send this part of you love and compassion. The way you’d show love to your own child.
Be patient. Sometimes nothing happens. Sometimes images, feelings, or memories surface. Your job is not to fix—just to listen.
Step 4: Offer Comfort and Presence
Try to imagine this younger part. Create an image in your mind that feels appropriate.
Ask this younger part:
“What do you want to tell me?”
“How can I support you?”
Whatever comes back intuitively is the right answer. You’re body knows what to do even if your mind does not.
Use soothing touch, gentle tone, or visualization. Some people imagine holding the child, wrapping them in a blanket, or sitting beside them in silence.
Step 5: Close with Gratitude
Whether or not you felt contact, thank your system for allowing you to check in. These moments build trust over time—even when they feel small or quiet.
You can say:
“Thank you for showing me what you were holding.”
“I’ll be back soon to check in again.”
“You’re safe with me.”
Making It a Regular Practice
Connecting with your inner child isn’t a one-time event. Like any relationship, it deepens with consistency. You can build this connection slowly by:
Doing a 5-minute check-in each morning or before bed
Journaling from the voice of your inner child (“I feel…” or “I wish…”)
Drawing or doodling without judgment
Placing a hand on your heart or belly when you feel triggered
Setting reminders to ask: What does my inner child need right now?
Even small acts of inner attention help rebuild the bond between your adult self and the child within.
You’re welcome to use this guided meditation, which I’ve recorded for my clients, to facilitate this daily practice.
Common Blocks and How to Work with Them
It’s completely normal to feel resistance, numbness, or judgment when first trying to connect with your inner child. Here are a few common blocks—and how to work through them:
“I don’t feel anything.”
Numbness is a protective state. It’s the body’s way of saying “it wasn’t safe to feel.” Start with sensations that are available: the breath, warmth of your hand, or the contact of the floor. Trust that feeling will return over time.
“This is silly or fake.”
That’s likely a protective part—maybe your Inner Critic or Skeptic—trying to keep things “adult” and in control. Acknowledge that part with respect, and gently let it know you’re just experimenting.
“I’m afraid of what I’ll find.”
This fear is valid. Many of us carry painful memories or unmet needs that were overwhelming at the time. Remind yourself that you are not re-entering the experience—you are witnessing it now, with new capacity and support.
You can also try “contracting” with this younger part. Try asking them:
“Are you open to showing me just as much as I can handle, and no more; if I agree to come back to you as many times as needed in the future?”
If it still feels too much to do alone, working with a therapist trained in parts work or somatic therapy can make the process safer and more supported.
What Changes When You Reconnect with Your Inner Child
Over time, building a relationship with your inner child can shift everything. You may notice:
Softer self-talk and less inner criticism
Less reactivity in relationships
Greater emotional access and expression
More joy, spontaneity, and playfulness
A growing sense of being “on your own side”
Most importantly, you’ll stop abandoning yourself when you need support the most. Instead of collapsing into shame or panic, you’ll have the inner scaffolding to turn toward yourself with care.
Final Thoughts: You Are the One You’ve Been Waiting For
So many of us spent our early years learning to hide, shape-shift, or stay small to stay safe. Our inner children adapted brilliantly to impossible circumstances. But survival isn’t the same as connection—and now that we’re adults, we get to do it differently.
You have the capacity to show up now for the child you once were. Not with perfection or forced positivity, but with presence.
That child isn’t asking for miracles. They’re just asking for you to be with them.
And in that relationship, healing begins
