Low Self-confidence & Chronic Shame

Shame often hides beneath things that look like anxiety, perfectionism, people-pleasing, or low self-esteem. It can sound like an inner voice that says, “I’m not enough,” “I’m too much,” or “If people really knew me, they wouldn’t stay.”

You might notice you struggle to internalize praise, feel like an imposter despite your accomplishments, apologize excessively, or feel disproportionate distress when you make a mistake. If your self-criticism feels automatic and relentless, shame may be operating underneath the surface.

Therapy helps you gently separate that internalized voice from who you truly are.

To learn more about some of the skills we will develop, you can read my blog post on Healing from the Bottom-Up.

The origins of shame differ widely between individuals, but it is rarely random. It often develops in early relationships or environments where emotional needs weren’t consistently met.

When a child repeatedly receives subtle (or explicit) messages that their feelings are “too much,” “not enough,” or inconvenient, they may internalize the belief that they themselves are flawed. Over time, this becomes an inner critic that feels like truth.

The good news: these patterns can be healed.

My work integrates mindfulness, parts work (such as Internal Family Systems), and somatic trauma therapy.

Rather than trying to “fight” your inner critic, we learn to understand it. We explore the younger parts of you that learned to carry shame for protection. We work with the nervous system to increase feelings of safety in your body.

Healing happens not through force—but through compassion, curiosity, and new relational experiences.

To learn more about my approach, check out my 4 part series on Overcoming Chronic Shame.

Yes. I offer both online therapy throughout Colorado and in-person therapy sessions (depending on availability and location).

Online therapy can be just as effective as in-person work, especially for trauma and shame, and it allows you to access support from the comfort and privacy of your own space.

There isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer. Some people begin to feel relief within a few months as they develop new ways of relating to themselves. For deeper, long-standing shame patterns rooted in childhood trauma, longer-term therapy may be helpful.

We move at your pace. Healing shame isn’t about rushing—it’s about building safety.

Absolutely. Chronic shame often overlaps with anxiety, depression, complex trauma, social anxiety, and relationship challenges. Many people who identify with these symptoms but have struggled to treat them will find that working directly with shame and cultivating self-love is the key to progress.

If you feel stuck in self-criticism, perfectionism, people-pleasing, or emotional numbness, this work may be especially supportive for you.

Insight alone often isn’t enough. You might understand your childhood, your parents, your trauma — and still feel stuck in the same emotional patterns.

Shame lives in the nervous system and in relational memory, not just in logic. Therapy works not just cognitively, but somatically and relationally — helping your body experience something different than what it learned long ago.

Not all therapy approaches directly address shame at its root. Some focus primarily on symptom management or cognitive strategies.

If previous therapy felt surface-level, we may simply need a different depth or method. It’s okay to try again.

Yes. I specialize in working with members of the kink, poly, and queer communities. I believe healing happens when you can bring your full self into the room—without judgment or the need to explain who you are. Whether you’re exploring identity, relationships, or trauma recovery, this is a space where you are welcome exactly as you are.