Body First, Then Mind: A Bottom-Up Approach to Healing
If you’ve ever said, “I understand exactly why I am the way I am… but I still don’t feel any different,” you're not alone.
It’s something I hear all the time. You’ve done the work—you’ve read the books, named your patterns, mapped out your attachment style, maybe even figured out where that deep fear of abandonment comes from. You know how you’d like to change. You’ve gained real insight.
But when the moment comes—when your partner pulls away, or someone sets a boundary, or you make a mistake—you still feel like you're crumbling.
That’s not because you're doing something wrong. It's because the insight, as powerful as it is, doesn't always reach the places where the wound lives.
And that’s where the body comes in.
When Knowing Isn’t Enough
There’s a moment I see often in therapy—someone sitting across from me, frustrated and heartbroken:
“I know this is my abandonment wound. I can see the pattern. I even know it’s not about this moment. But I still feel like I’m in danger.”
Or:
“I understand why I people-please. I get that it’s how I learned to survive. But when I try to say no, I freeze. I panic. I still feel like I’m doing something wrong.”
This is the gap between insight and integration. Between understanding why and being able to feel something new.
It’s not a failure. It’s just that top-down healing—working with thoughts, beliefs, and logic—can only go so far when the pain lives in your body.
What “Bottom-Up” Actually Means
Bottom-up healing starts with the body, not the brain. It means paying attention to what’s happening in your nervous system—the sensations, impulses, movements, and patterns that live below the surface of your thoughts.
It asks questions like:
What happens in your chest when you try to set a boundary?
Can you feel your feet when you're overwhelmed?
What would it be like to slow down just a little bit right now?
These may sound simple, but they open up a whole different layer of healing.
Because trauma doesn’t just leave behind memories—it reshapes how your body moves, how you breathe, how you listen, and how you protect yourself.
Until the body feels safe, the mind can’t fully let go.
Why the Body Doesn’t Just “Get It”
The body is incredibly smart. When something painful or overwhelming happens—especially when we’re young—it figures out how to protect us.
It freezes. It fawns. It leaves.
And when those strategies work—when they help us get through something hard—they stick. The nervous system remembers.
So even if your adult brain knows you’re safe now, your body might still be bracing for impact. You’re not “overreacting.” You’re responding exactly the way your body learned to.
That’s not something to shame. It’s something to work with, gently.
What Bottom-Up Healing Can Look Like
So how do we actually do this? What does “working with the body” mean in real life? It doesn’t have to look like some dramatic breakthrough or big emotional release. It often starts with something much smaller—something that helps you notice and feel without getting overwhelmed.
Here are a few ways I often work with clients in this space:
1. Slowing Down
So much of trauma recovery starts with just… slowing the pace. Many of us are moving at the speed of anxiety, constantly scanning for what’s next.
When we slow down, we make space to actually notice:
What’s happening in my body right now?
Sometimes just asking that question—without rushing to fix anything—is a profound act of healing.
2. Noticing Sensation
Instead of analyzing or narrating your emotions, we track what your body is doing. Tight throat? Fluttering in the belly? Pressure in your chest?
This helps build something called interoception—your ability to feel yourself from the inside.
The more you build this capacity, the less likely you are to get hijacked by big emotions without warning.
3. Resourcing and Grounding
Before going into the hard stuff, we build anchors—things that feel safe, steady, or even just neutral.
That might be:
Feeling your feet on the ground
Looking at a tree out the window
Remembering a moment when you felt cared for
Holding a warm mug
These aren’t distractions—they’re tools. They help regulate your nervous system so you can stay present instead of overwhelmed.
4. Moving in and Out Gently (Pendulation)
Instead of diving into trauma headfirst, we touch into the pain—then come back to something safe. This back-and-forth (called pendulation) helps the nervous system build tolerance gradually.
It’s how we start to say, “I can feel this… and I can come back.”
You don’t have to flood yourself to heal.
5. Movement, Sound, and Expression
Sometimes the body needs to shake, or stretch, or curl up into a ball. Sometimes it wants to sigh, or hum, or let out a low growl.
These movements aren’t random. They’re the body’s way of completing stress cycles or expressing something it didn’t get to release the first time.
Listening to these impulses can be a powerful way to process what words can’t reach.
The Role of Insight (It’s Still Valuable!)
Bottom-up healing doesn’t mean we throw insight out the window. Understanding your story matters. Cognitive reframes matter.
But when insight alone isn’t shifting the way you feel, that’s a sign it’s time to bring in the body.
When your body starts to feel safety, stability, and permission—you’ll be amazed at how much more your mind can actually believe the truth:
I’m okay now. I don’t have to live in defense anymore.
You’re Not Failing—You’re Just Wired for Survival
If you’ve been feeling frustrated—like “I should be better by now,” or “Why can’t I get past this?”—please hear this:
You’re not stuck because something’s wrong with you.
You’re stuck because your body is still doing its best to protect you.
And the truth is, it takes time to teach the nervous system that it’s safe to do things differently. That takes feeling, not just thinking.
It’s not about doing more. It’s about listening more deeply.
Final Thoughts
There’s no perfect roadmap for healing, but if your progress feels stalled despite your insight, it might be time to turn toward your body.
To listen to what’s happening in your chest, your gut, your hands.
To slow down.
To feel your way into safety.
You don’t have to do it alone.
You don’t have to rush.
And you don’t have to fix everything all at once.
This kind of healing asks for gentleness, permission, and patience. And often, that’s where real transformation begins.
